Sunday, February 11, 2007

by Rudolph a friend at one nite in gelato bar

Harga Diri VS Horny

You have a high standard.
Sadly, you find that the stock of male (or female if you insist!) around here is somewhat ‘going to the dogs’ as the British would say it.

And so you join us.
We who think that as premium products (of course!), we deserve the same.
And thus, we are also – Singles without prospect.

And you’re thinking …
‘i’m very horny, and not getting any… should I lower my standards?’
And there you go ladies and gentlemen, the first steps towards whoring yourselves!
Steps that I have taken myself.

As my dear friend Mia would describe it, you can divide your price range from 1 to 5. 1 being the lowest and 5 being the highest. Safe pricing would be 2-3, and Premium would be 4-5. And whichever range you wish to play in is up to you, as long as you can back it up.

She would say : each field comes with its pros and cons, your choice. Mana-mana aja. Asal jangan main di lima aja bo! Sadar diri dikit…
(She was talking about business, but who cares! i say it's relevant!)

Of course all this is not that simple. We are trapped between our wish to find someone that is just right for us, and our desire to just find someone. Between the fear of not finding the right one and the fear of not finding any at all!

So, would you sacrifice quality for quantity ?
Or would you stand being alone and risk finding no one ever? Rather than trying with someone that doesn’t meet up to your high standard?

Another friend of mine – Olive , who suck at driving, laughed when I asked her that.
‘Harga Diri and Horny? Which is more superficial?’ she said.

And I guess that kinda answer it all. They are both superficial.
Finding a mate by filtering them through some made-up standard won’t get you the ‘right one’, it will only get you the one you logically think is best. Logic ain’t gonna make you warm at night.

On the other hand, if you’d go with just anyone willing so you don’t end up horny, you might as well work hard, get rich, and buy clean and premium prostitutes.
Cause boyfriends are not just something to keep around to fight loneliness. You buy dolls for that. Or Dildos.

So what?
I’d say : forget the standards but don’t be a cheap slut, do what your heart tells you, and buy a dildo just in case you get too horny– one night stands might not sound as nice after a venereal disease.

And don’t be afraid to be lonely. That’s just life. :)
Besides, you ain’t gonna be lonely if you have a friend like me.

Trust me. I'll call you every night and force you to listen to my woes for hours on end. If you hang up on me, i'l come to your house.

...

Monday, January 29, 2007

the little man's reality check

I have been seeing the world with both eyes doing good but was not able to truly appreciate it's beauty until I have to see it with a limited vision.

the biggest sin a man can make is to take things for granted...

when he feels that the world owes him a living while actually the world owes him nothing since It is there first..

and the problem with him is; he actually waiting for something to happen or someone to make it happen, then bitching about his life so miserable and how everyone else seems to be moving on the higher place.

Little that he knows that life does not owe him anything, as well as everybody else..

Little man, little man, you should have been wiser than that..

little man, little man, you should have been smarter than that..

little man, little man, go and pick yourselves up

go on and catch that big tide of wisdom

because the first thing to stop being little is to THINK BIG...

Wednesday, January 3, 2007

When life hits you with a brick # 1

If anyone wondering, how's my start of the new year going..

first day of work after being struck down by cold right in the middle of counting cash flow that almost drove me nuts...

the highlights:


"oh george, i think it is better you hear it from me than from someone else"
"do you remember my old choir friend, yushien"
"we sort of got together on new year's eve"
"I do"
"for a few months now"


I suppose that broke me down to pieces, I always thought I was ready for such news.. coming from her, the gurl that always make me can't differentiate between night and day..
there is no such thing of ever being ready...

I can't stop shaking, sadness, anger, jealousy... I am only human... don't get me wrong.. I love her, and I want her to be happy.. she is happy now, and I am happy for her.. it is just I don't think I am happy for me..

I am still shaking now, all the short conversation flashing back, I can't even close my eyes without feeling my heart beating faster, hand shaking.. and all the damned flash backs...

I am scared, I am afraid that I would become what I used to be, I want to believe in love, but now I am losing my faith again, maybe it is not for me.. maybe I would never find someone that is just for me.. It is pathetic.... I know but I am afraid that I will become cold again.. I am afraid I will build that wall again..

Please.... I need help.... I need hope.... somebody.....
please help me......

oh God grant me strength to deal with my troubles
grant me courage to face them
grant me patience so I do not act rashly
grant me wisdom so I can act wisely
and grant me peace so I do not begrudged them..

this is the moment of truth...

I think it is just God's way telling me to move on, it sure has His sense of humor and irony..

wish He doesn't have to throw that brick so damned hard.. but then again.. if He does not, I do not think I will get the message...

so hows my new year so far? fcuk that.. I still can't stop shaking..

Friday, December 15, 2006

a good year?

In Random

Stressing over work

being ignored

still having that feeling

keep on dreaming

Reccuring Insomnia attacks

One best friend wedding

make some stupid mistake

met a crush

got rejected and toyed around

getting drunk

organize people to get drunk

hug a friend

Being Hugged by a friend

staying up all nite

got some ass

Smoked Sisha

give up on giving up smoking

chasing shadows

heart mending

Got Broken again

one bestman speech delivered

get a smile on a friend's place

made smiled by friends

Yelling at stupidity

get frustrated

Got projects

Lose some sleep

start tennis

learn how to golf

got sunburned

get a massage

addicted to reflexiology

missed a deadline

kissed some asses

kicked some asses

and the list go on...

one thing that counts...

I have my friends to go through it all with me..

failures happened, lesson learned, success achieved, and go home to toast with the dearly beloved..

a good year? as always!!!!

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

one of those day...

525,600 minutes, 525,000 moments so dear. 525,600 minutes -
how do you measure, measure a year?
In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee. In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife. In 525,600 minutes - how do you measure a year in the life?
How about love? How about love? How about love?
Measure in love.
Seasons of love.
Heart broken
life shaken
smiles gone
feels like broken bone
it was a lifetime ago
when it feels that it will last a lifetime
when it feels no fear
when it knows no despair
do you miss me the way I miss you..
on those odd time when your eyes staring at me again
on those odd time when your voice calling me
on those odd time when the milky way upon me
and I have you in my shadow of past
I rather have a broken bone..
If I can only say one thing..
I want you to be happy, really...
really really really..
but I want to be happy as well..
Now if you don't mind
Can you stop being roomates with my brain
Because when you tickle my soul
and wrap you fingers around my blood
I smile and cry at the same time..
Now if you don't mind
Can you stop being roomates with my brain
Because I need to stop measure my year
by how many nights I dream of you
by how many times I want to kiss you
by how many wish I am to be by yourside
by how many longing day of hearing your voice
by how many.. sigh
Can you stop being roomates with my brain
because I rather have a broken bone

Sunday, December 10, 2006

the guide, the prophet, the light bearer, and the purpose

If everything seems to be under control, you are not going fast enough..

~Michael Schumacher


Trust is good, but control is better ~my dad


Listen..Think..Solve.. ~some company philosopy


Happiness is never given, but earned ~ mine


Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish ~ Steve Jobs


for the romantic side; love is not something to be sought, but to be found



God always goes before You ~Sunday Morning Priest

Thursday, December 7, 2006

BestFriend Definition

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what else can I say? word won't do you any justice....

But thank you for you being you... Jen.. my bestfriend :)