the little man's reality check

I have been seeing the world with both eyes doing good but was not able to truly appreciate it's beauty until I have to see it with a limited vision.

the biggest sin a man can make is to take things for granted...

when he feels that the world owes him a living while actually the world owes him nothing since It is there first..

and the problem with him is; he actually waiting for something to happen or someone to make it happen, then bitching about his life so miserable and how everyone else seems to be moving on the higher place.

Little that he knows that life does not owe him anything, as well as everybody else..

Little man, little man, you should have been wiser than that..

little man, little man, you should have been smarter than that..

little man, little man, go and pick yourselves up

go on and catch that big tide of wisdom

because the first thing to stop being little is to THINK BIG...

When life hits you with a brick # 1

If anyone wondering, how's my start of the new year going..

first day of work after being struck down by cold right in the middle of counting cash flow that almost drove me nuts...

the highlights:

"oh george, i think it is better you hear it from me than from someone else"

"do you remember my old choir friend, yushien"

"we sort of got together on new year's eve"

"I do"

"for a few months now"

I suppose that broke me down to pieces, I always thought I was ready for such news.. coming from her, the gurl that always make me can't differentiate between night and day..
there is no such thing of ever being ready...

I can't stop shaking, sadness, anger, jealousy... I am only human... don't get me wrong.. I love her, and I want her to be happy.. she is happy now, and I am happy for her.. it is just I don't think I am happy for me..

I am still shaking now, all the short conversation flashing back, I can't even close my eyes without feeling my heart beating faster, hand shaking.. and all the damned flash backs...

I am scared, I am afraid that I would become what I used to be, I want to believe in love, but now I am losing my faith again, maybe it is not for me.. maybe I would never find someone that is just for me.. It is pathetic.... I know but I am afraid that I will become cold again.. I am afraid I will build that wall again..

Please.... I need help.... I need hope.... somebody.....
please help me......

oh God grant me strength to deal with my troubles
grant me courage to face them
grant me patience so I do not act rashly
grant me wisdom so I can act wisely
and grant me peace so I do not begrudged them..

this is the moment of truth...

I think it is just God's way telling me to move on, it sure has His sense of humor and irony..

wish He doesn't have to throw that brick so damned hard.. but then again.. if He does not, I do not think I will get the message...

so hows my new year so far? fcuk that.. I still can't stop shaking..

a good year?

In Random

Stressing over work

being ignored

still having that feeling

keep on dreaming

Reccuring Insomnia attacks

One best friend wedding

make some stupid mistake

met a crush

got rejected and toyed around

getting drunk

organize people to get drunk

hug a friend

Being Hugged by a friend

staying up all nite

got some ass

Smoked Sisha

give up on giving up smoking

chasing shadows

heart mending

Got Broken again

one bestman speech delivered

get a smile on a friend's place

made smiled by friends

Yelling at stupidity

get frustrated

Got projects

Lose some sleep

start tennis

learn how to golf

got sunburned

get a massage

addicted to reflexiology

missed a deadline

kissed some asses

kicked some asses

and the list go on...

one thing that counts...

I have my friends to go through it all with me..

failures happened, lesson learned, success achieved, and go home to toast with the dearly beloved..

a good year? as always!!!!

one of those day...

525,600 minutes, 525,000 moments so dear. 525,600 minutes -

how do you measure, measure a year?

In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee. In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife. In 525,600 minutes - how do you measure a year in the life?

How about love? How about love? How about love?

Measure in love.

Seasons of love.

Heart broken

life shaken

smiles gone

feels like broken bone

it was a lifetime ago

when it feels that it will last a lifetime

when it feels no fear

when it knows no despair

do you miss me the way I miss you..

on those odd time when your eyes staring at me again

on those odd time when your voice calling me

on those odd time when the milky way upon me

and I have you in my shadow of past

I rather have a broken bone..

If I can only say one thing..

I want you to be happy, really...

really really really..

but I want to be happy as well..

Now if you don't mind

Can you stop being roomates with my brain

Because when you tickle my soul

and wrap you fingers around my blood

I smile and cry at the same time..

Now if you don't mind

Can you stop being roomates with my brain

Because I need to stop measure my year

by how many nights I dream of you

by how many times I want to kiss you

by how many wish I am to be by yourside

by how many longing day of hearing your voice

by how many.. sigh

Can you stop being roomates with my brain

because I rather have a broken bone

the guide, the prophet, the light bearer, and the purpose

If everything seems to be under control, you are not going fast enough..

~Michael Schumacher

Trust is good, but control is better ~my dad

Listen..Think..Solve.. ~some company philosopy

Happiness is never given, but earned ~ mine

Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish ~ Steve Jobs

for the romantic side; love is not something to be sought, but to be found

God always goes before You ~Sunday Morning Priest

BestFriend Definition

........................
................
......................
..............................
................
.........................
....................
..........................................
.............
.................................
...............
....
........................
.............

what else can I say? word won't do you any justice....

But thank you for you being you... Jen.. my bestfriend :)

gimme a break

What do you think?

what do I think?

yes what do you think I should do?

I think you should do what everyone tells you to do.

But I can't accept it that I'm letting him go just like that.

If you want to keep playing in his game and lose, by all mean go ahead..

Yeah, I guess you are right, let it flow and see what happen

It is your life.. do with it as you will...


after thought: gimme a break, I just pick those pieces up and now you are going to dance on it.. again..


~ Women are Women, some are poison, some are sweet...

~It's funny how they always want to be friends, after they rip your guts out..